From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Moby - Alice

Ramblings: Zoned Out

Final Proof: 3 Shots

You know how you drink on meth? Sure, it sounds like a good idea at first 'cause you're gonna get the best of both, so you shoot or snort or whatever it is you do with meth and you pop open that beer tab or uncork the bottle of wine or unscrew the bottle of whiskey or saber that bottle of champagne (hey, i know what to do with booze but not meth, so sue me) and then, pretty much right from the get go you feel dizzy and shaky and you kinda wanna throw up and you pray for it all to stop and you want the clock to move backwards so you can either do the meth thing or the booze thing but it's too late so there's nothing left to do but ride it out and tattoo "Never Again" on your forearm so there's no chance in hell you'll try that crap another time. Yeah, it's kinda like that with Green Zone.

Paul Greengrass rocks. He is a killer director. United 93 is the absolute best movie ever made about the worst day in recent American memory. Like Bloody Sunday, Greengrass was able to make a movie so realistic about a historical incident that it looked like a documentary.

Greengrass also rocked the last two Bourne movies (The Bourne Supremacy and The Bourne Ultimatum). Lots of style and suspense, the films raised the bar for action movies.

Unfortunately, Grass Is Greener tried to mix both of these types of movie into Green Zone and it turned out like the intro paragraph [Shout out to Brandi Alexandra for her help brainstorming the tack i took with that]. His pseudo-documentaries are like fine wines and his action films pack all the rush of crystal meth but when he mixes both of them, we're let down (and a little nauseous). Green Zone is black and white so it lacks the ambiguity of reality, but at the same time is based on a true story so there's a lot of backstory telling that detracts from the action and slows down the pace.

Yigal Naor as General Al Rawi

Khalid Abdalla as Freddy

So, with all this bitching and moaning, why did i give it 3 shots (besides the fact i'm a generous mother)? Lots of reasons. While i'm not a big fan of handcam's, and this is the first movie i ever really noticed how bad it can be (hell, i even liked it in Cloverfield), it did give the film a frenetic feel. Matt Damon did a solid job in the role of "Miller" but the exotic talent stole the show. Yigal Naor, an Israeli actor who actually played Saddam Hussein in The House Of Saddam, kicked ass as Iraqi General Al Rawi, aka The Jack Of Clubs. Another rockin' role was that of Freddy, as done by Khalid Abdalla (Egyptian descent, born in Glasgow, who also appeared as a terrorist in Greengrass' United 93). The story was good, the action was hot, the style was there, so there was a lot that entertained in this movie.

Amy Ryan as Lawrie Dayne, Now We're Talkin' Entertainment

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 1 Shot

Babes, we're talkin' about an Iraqi war movie: guys and guys and more guys than a frat house at a Jimmy Buffet kegger.

i'm considering myself lucky they decided to include Amy Ryan as Wall Street Journal journalist Lawrie Dayne. She's cute as a shotglass of Mike's Hard Lemonade but the closest we get to sexy is the shot i posted just above. Here's a collage of her other shots:

For those of you who prefer soldiers to journalists, i got some Matt Damon for you.

Drink: ½ Shot

A couple beer references. When soldiers visit the Republican Palace / Coalition Provisional Authority HQ, the grunts drool over the lucious things hanging out at the swimming pool, not to mention the beer and Domino's pizza. When they ask their commander if they can have a beer, they're told, "One".

There's also some beer at the hotel Lawrie's staying at.

Rock & Roll: 2 Shots

i'll give the rock 'n' roll attitude of this a couple shots, but don't go seeing this movie expecting to hear the kind of rock we got in The Hurt Locker.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Rajiv Chandrasekaran (Book Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone)

Brian Helgeland (Screenplay)

Directed by: Paul Greengrass

Starring

Amy Ryan - Lawrie Dayne

Matt Damon - Miller

Khalid Abdalla - Freddy

Yigal Naor - General Al Rawi

Bottom Line

You should pro'lly wait for this to come out on DVD so the shaking camera thing on the big screen doesn't send you into epileptic seizures.

Bonus Round

Another still of Amy Ryan (and some guy):

From the juiced-box but not the soundtrack: Renée Zellweger - This Land Is Your Land

[Press "Play" for an excerpt of the song from the film.]

Ramblings: My Own Song

Final Proof: 4 Shots

You know how you go drinking with a friend? He's not cool or trendy, his jeans are dirty and have holes in strange places, he doesn't listen to the "right" music and drinks Bud straight out of the bottle. He tells weird jokes and he's kind of simple but it's the right kind of simple 'cause he rambles meandering stories when he drinks enough but they're good stories and they make you feel something other people's normal stories don't. His tales touch you and you get this guy because he gets you. He doesn't have any pretensions and you don't really want to introduce him to your other friends, not because you're ashamed of him but because he's too good for people who are gonna think he's not all that. He's a buzz you don't want to ruin by talking about, like not wanting to jinx a perfect drink by thinking about it too much. My Own Love Song is kinda like that friend.

i loved this movie but, like that friend i was rambling on about, i'm not gonna recommend it because i'm not sure you're gonna get it. My Own Love Song struck a chord in me but i march to my own beat so i'm not sure anyone else will be able to follow along. Let's just say i don't mind going solo on this one.

My Own Love Song is a road movie on a dead end street in a trailer park. Contrary to director Olivier Dahan's previous effort , La Vie En Rose---a ginormous biopic about the life of Edith Piaf, MOLS is a portrait in the art of understatement to anyone sensitive enough to see it. There are even these little detours from reality through cartoon birds or Angels circling the moon, that give the movie and indie feel. This is a film that succeeds in being exactly what it sets out to be: a small movie with a soul as big as post-Katrina N'awlins.

The actors are a big part of this magnificent landscape. Renée Zellweger, despite a squinchy face that really pinches Brandi Alexandra's ass, rocks the role of Jane, a wheelchair-bound accident victim on the road to spiritual recovery. It's a subtle part and Zellweger plays it with the right amount nuance. Then we get Madeline Zima. Let's take a moment out for the appreciation of Madeline Zima. Ahhh, Madeline Zima. Madeline Zima is Billie, a stray our heroes pick up on the way. Madeline (can i call her Madeline?) has a quirky beauty that suits the part beautifully. The talent she's been nourishing since her child starlette days really shines here.

i would also be amiss (and i hate being a miss) if i didn't give a shout out to good ol' Nick Nolte, who plays a guitar playing drug addict on the lam. So yeah, basically he's playing himself. Cool voice, though. Just the right amount of ragged.

The most memorable performance of the movie, though, comes from Forest Whitaker. His character, Joey, is a simple man straight from Of Mice And Men who doesn't have all the strings in his air guitar. Whitaker owns this role of a Soul Seer and Angel Speaker with electric sincerity.

What i'm sayin' is this. My Own Love Song is a sweet delta blues ballad i'm gonna be playing in my head for a long time.

Before we move on to the good stuff, i gotta card Sarah Ellis, who plays a birthday party guest, 'cause i don't know how old she is but she's way too young for The Bar None. The photo links to her agent's page.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 1 Shot

i'm not gonna lie, i'm all about the Madeline Zima. This 24-year-old started off in TV at 8 (in a series called The Nanny) and more recently erected headlines with a topless sex scene in the first episode of Californication, before moving onto to Heroes. You wanna see some of her in Heroes? i got her in Heroes for you right here:

Madeline Zima Kissing Hayden Panettiere

Pretty damn heroic, you ask me. But enough about me, i was goin' on about Madeline Zima. Like i was sayin' in the lobby, she's good lookin' in this cool, indie way. Like her cleft chin or these intoxicating eyes that are a green and brown mix kinda like dark beer in absinthe but a lot tastier. Her hair is deliciously long in MOLS and you know the director's gotta be French because there are tons of scenes from behind with her in jeans. Madeline Zima looks good in jeans. Just sayin'. Here's more of her lookin' good:

Zima With Tom Collins

More indie shots of her are waiting down below in my drawers.

There's also Renée Zellweger (40). Now i'm a big Renée Zellweger fan. i can't name a movie of hers that i've seen where she didn't do a good job acting. Maybe it's the squinty eyed thing, i don't know, but i just don't think she looks all that good. She looks better here than usually, though, mostly because she looks like Brandi Alexandra in many shots. 'Course Miss D is tons hotter, but that's not my problem. There were some cool scenes of Renée, though, like when she wore a wife beater top with no bra for pajamas.

Renée With Tom Collins

There'll be some more shots of her lingering at the bottom of the post in my drawers.

Silken Butterflies

Let's start off with the beautiful Andrea Powell (44). She plays Devon's step-mom and looks as great as she acts.

Clicking On The Link Takes You To Her Website

Later on, we get Courtney J. Clark as a waitress in a diner. Here's a drink to her career and seeing lots more of her. Her age is unlisted, but she says on her resumé that she can play anyone between 15-25 (that and a box of wine will keep grinnin' for more than a weekend).

For those of you who prefer Staffs to Whole Notes, well, you're basically S.O.L. Here's the least ugliest shots of the leading lads i could find.

Forest Whitaker (48):

Nick Nolte (69):

Drink: 1 Shot

i knew it was a good sign when the movie started off in a hole in the wall bar. Jane (Renée Zellweger) is sitting at a table drinking Bud from the bottle when she gets hit on by a guy who loses interest when he discovers Jane's always sitting down because she's in a wheelchair.

Later on there's a buffet party out back where they drink a toast to Billie with red wine in plastic scotch glasses. Some of the people are a little tipsy.

Finally, Billie (i think, but i didn't get that specific in my notes) sips beer from a bottle while sitting on the curb in front of a hotel.

Rock & Roll: 3 Shots

Despite not being very rock and roll, i'm giving this hummer three shots for two reasons. The first is that i was floored by Renée Zellweger's voice. i didn't know it was her until the end credits ('cause the only way i'm ever gonna see Chicago is passed out at midnight on the El), but man, listening to her sing a Dylan song and "This Land Is Your Land" almost made me almost cry. She was that good. (Speaking of "This Land...", another reason i didn't realize it was the Z singin' is the dubbin job they did in that scene was worse than stale beer that's turned to flat vinegar, and i don't nearly have enough time or space here to go into how i know that---they shoulda just recorded her live.)

The other reason i'm down with 3 shots for the rock is that Bob Dylan wrote the song "Life Is Hard" for this movie. Not only is it a killer Waits' impression, Renée also sings a sweet and heartbreaking as honey wine version of it in the film. According to Wiki, Bob was so inspired by writing music for this movie that he decided to sit right down and write himself an album, 2009's Together Through Life.

i also gotta give an honorable mention to the guitar solo Nick Nolte's character is saturating the night air with, attracting the band of three like angels to the head of a pin.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Olivier Dahan

Directed by: Olivier Dahan

Starring

Madeline Zima - Billie

Renée Zellweger - Jane

Andrea Powell - Devon's Mom

Courtney J. Clark - Waitress

Sarah Ellis - Party Guest

Forest Whitaker - Joey

Nick Nolte - Himself (just kidding; neither Wiki nor IMDB have a name for his character)

Bottom Line

Did you not read what i wrote up top? This movie struck a personal chord with me that i'm sure won't resonate for you. Pro'lly not in the theaters but for sure not on DVD.

Al K Hall's Drawers

Thus ends the wit, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. From here on out it's just the shots of the hotties i didn't want to clutter up the post with. Please feel free to loiter elsewhere should you feel so inclined.