i Regret That She Had But One Life To Give
Ramblings: The Lives Of Pippa Lee's Privates (Porn Title)
Final Proof: 1½ Shots
You know how sometimes you drink with chicks and there's this one babe who's pretty enough and she starts talking about her life and makes you believe she's had this wild existence because she believes it so much? So you buy her another Cosmopolitan (and that shoulda been your first sign) and she reveals all these deep, dark secrets and you feel a little tenderness at the beginning because it's cute how she thinks these episodes from her life are so fascinating even if they're more common than beer rings on paper coasters but after a while you start to tire of her going on and on about her 'insane multiple lives' when you've lived more most weekends. That's kinda what The Private Lives of Pippa Lee is like.You know me and how sensitive i am, right? i feel kind of bad about trashing this movie because the book and screenplay were written by the director, Rebecca Miller, which means it's pro'lly autobiographical. Look, 'Becca (can i call you 'Becca?) i'm not knocking your life. i'm glad you've enjoyed so much success telling people about it but, babe, there's only one 'life' here and there isn't much living in that one.
Plus, i hate Keanu Reeves. Always have. He can't act. He could fake it in Matrix because Neo is a character who has the personality of someone who doesn't know how to act. But man, Keanu in a real movie? Makes you wish you had a case of whatever Kenneth Branagh was drinking when he tapped Kan'ya for Much Ado About Nothing. Anyway, K-boy drags this movie down in a big way and it wasn't even that far up there to begin with.
i will raise a glass to Blake Lively, however, who has a richer role here than in Gossip Girl and doesn't disappoint. Another drink to Alan Arkin who is like good whiskey: the older he gets, the better he is.
The other thing i liked was how much smoking there was in this movie. Pippa (Robin Wright Penn) and Young Pippa (Blake Lively) both smoke Marlboro Lights and there's something about close-ups of a girl smoking that really flare my hot box. The only minor disappointment was that Blake Lively is obviously not a smoker and was just going through the motions. A real smoker can tell.
As for the rest of the movie: it's slow, uneven and doesn't end at the right time. That's Life.
Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)
Sex: 2½ Shots
i gotta give it something considering the sheer quantity of female glory that strolls through this thing...Ironically, the only nude scene isn't the hottest part of the movie. It's by Christin Sawyer Davis who plays Shelly, Julianne Moore's lesbian lover. She undresses before getting into a sexy photo shoot (think Blake Lively in a pony tail and frilly diaper pretending to be a baby in a playpen or wearing a French maid's outfit with a leash). Here's a scene with Shelly spanking Young Pippa (Blake Lively):
Julianne Moore isn't in the film long but rocks as Kat, Pippa's aunt's lover. There is a nice girl/girl kiss between Kat (Moore) and Aunt Trish (Robin Weigert). The other nice part is that Kat never wears a bra and struts around the apartment in a tight knit thingy (ask a woman if you names for clothes). Kinda like this:
My other beautiful surprise in this film was seeing Winona Ryder again. Sure, she had a brief appearance in Star Trek (2009) but that was just a teaser to remind me of the days my cousin and i walked around singing (to the tune of "My Sharona"): Na na nanana Na Na nanana Na Na nanana My Winona!
Anyway, i was thrilled to see how truly beautiful she is, but even more, to see how excellent her performance was as Pippa's friend, Sandra. She was truly the funniest and most fun thing about the movie. Here are some shots of our little girl growing up:
Coming back to Blake Lively...
S'all Right, Babe. i Got Your Back.
The movie stars Robin Wright Penn:
Finally, there was a surprise appearance by Monica Bellucci as Herb Lee's wife, Gigi Lee. Her role was short but she looked good filling it. Here's what i mean:
For Brandi Alexandra and any other women who have wandered into the bar...
Drink: 2 Shots
- The movie starts with a red wine toast at dinner to an editor and his wife, Pippa Lee.
- A bottle of red as a present at a party.
- Vodka martinis at a party.
- Young Pippa does cartwheels on the beach and hits from a wine bottle (red).
- Champagne at the divorce meeting and a drink to 'transformation'.
Rock & Roll: 0 Shots
There's a song that young Pippa dances to in her room while on speed and i think it's "Still To Be Painted" by Pitcher's Pony but i can't find the song or confirmation.
There's a Dusty Springfield song ("I'll Love You For A While") but i can't scrape that up either.
Lucinda Williams' "I Lost It", rolls during the credits.
Boring Technical Crap
Written by: Rebecca MillerDirected by: Rebecca Miller
Starring
Robin Wright Penn - Pippa Lee
Blake Lively - Young Pippa
Winona Ryder - Sandra Dulles
Julianne Moore - Kit
Monica Bellucci - Gigi Lee
Christin Sawyer Davis - Shelly
Alan Arkin - Herb Lee
You know how you go to that one bar that's literally an underground club because it's in a basement lost somewhere at the bottom of some building and you don't go there a lot but when you do it's because it's the only tavern you know of where you can drink absinthe? You go there, you suckle the green fairy and you lay back and let the phantasms swoon inside you and some of them are dark and others are pleasant but you care more about the fact that you can let go of your mind and let your dreams do the thinking. Sure, sometimes the drink wears off and you feel the stupor laced ennui opium withdrawal but all you need to do is drink more and wait for the wormwood to worm its way back into your wood and set you free. Yeah, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is kinda like that.
Actually, i was pleasantly surprised here.
A couple of booze references...
